Twilight bloopers
by SillyBella101
Summary: ok it scenes that i took from the books and switched them around to be funny sorry i suck at summries i dont own anything Disclaimer
1. Chapter 1

Edward get back here

Sorry about that I don't own anything but I do have Edward tied up in my house right now

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Bella we're leaving

I'll come with you

The place we're going isn't right for you

The place where you're going is the right place for me

(sorry im not gonna right the whole page so im cutting it short)

I don't want you to come with me Bella

You… don't… want… me?

No

Edward?

Yes?

You're such a bad actor.

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(Ok this next one is from eclipse so spoiler if you haven't read it)

He kissed me

And I kissed him back

Jacob I said

Yes Bella?

I realized that…I just don't love you, you suck at kissing and im going with the hot vampire so ciao.

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Bella!

Oh no not that voice that horrible voice

What's wrong?

She didn't even prick herself

Ok ill take her to the office you go back to class

"All of the sudden I felt myself leaving the ground'

The movement of the ground wasn't making anything easier

Please oh please don't let me puke on him.

BLUGH!!

Oops sorry.

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Ok here's chapter one if you like it and want me to write more say it in reviews thank you.


	2. hehe

Hello people I'm back with Alice and Edward tied up at my house right now

Disclaimer I don't own anything

Edward: if you don't own anything let us go

Me: nope you can be free in a few days

Ok well here's the second chapter

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Please Bella don't do it the voice whispered to me

You want me to be human well watch me

I raised my hands above my head and took the plunge toward the water below

Wow this is really exhilarating falling through the wind almost hitting the water

KERSLAPT!!!

Alice: Oh dear dials Edwards number

"Hey Edward, Bella just splattered onto a rock so she's dead well see you

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Emmett was up to bat.

Jasper threw the ball

THWACK!!

Now I get what they meant about needing thunder I was knocked out of my thoughts to hear a WAM then an OW dammit Emmett that hurt Edward said as he walked out of the forest holding the ball in his hand.

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	3. hahahahahaha next chapter finally

Hey guys uh so im sorry I haven't been writing this story in a while I just cant think of anything but now I have some ideas

Disclaimer ugh I just don't own anything

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Ok this is from Eclipse during Chapter 20

Bella - "I lie all the time"

Edward - "Yeah but your so bad at it no one believes you"

Bella- "Yeah well lets just hope your wrong or else Charlies gonna come busting through that door with a loaded gun"

Door Bust open there stands Charlie cocking a shot gun

Charlie – "Bella get away from him or ill shot"

Bella – sighs "Well…. This sucks

(Yeah it wasn't that funny but anyways)

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Look after my heart ive left it with you

I turned to see a box with a heart inside

"Okay….."

Jack Sparrow comes walking in

"sorry love ill take that" he says and grabs the box before all of the sudden vanishing

Bella just stands there shocked not knowing what just happened

(Yeah sorry there not really funny I need ideas people)

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"Isabella Swan I promise to love you forever… Everyday of forever will you marry me?"

….

"No"

"Not again, Fine Ill try again tomorrow"

(I would kill Bella if she said that Lol)

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(Ok so this is in the book new moon )

Well grans as you may have noticed my boyfriend glitters its just something he does in the sun don't worry about it…

Grans: "WTF"

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(Ok so this is in eclipse when bella is trying to put the magnets together)

"That wasn't so bad was it"

I better get outside before the magnets start talking back

Magnets: "Hey Bella"

Bella stops dead in her tracks

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